


The Bonds That Save

by tutseti



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asuma doesn't die, Budding Love, Family, Growing Up Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 09:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10357062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tutseti/pseuds/tutseti
Summary: Family is not always who you are biologically related to but also who you form strong bonds with.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is Iruka centered. I have always enjoyed fics that explore the potential connection with Sarutobi Hiruzen after Iruka's parents pass away, so I decided to explore it a bit differently. It diverts from cannon a bit because I refuse to let Asuma die. That has always been the one death in the series I always had trouble accepting. So this is indulgent for me and I have no regrets. I am also playing around with a different writing styles in every fic I have posted thus far as I determine which I prefer.
> 
> Any grammatical errors are ones that I wasn't able to catch.

Sarutobi Hiruzen pressed his hand gently on his son’s back. The stout child wore a serious expression on his face even as he glanced up at his father. He could tell that the boy was nervous. He rubbed his back softly and smiled. “Remember what your mother showed you. If at any time you want to leave, let me know.”  The boy nodded and tightened his grip on the parcel in his hands.

They approached a small but inviting looking home. Hiruzen knocked softly on the dark wooden door. It opened shortly after and a man in a dark green yukata answered. His smile was warm and bright. “Ah, thank you for coming!” 

“We would not dream of missing the opportunity to meet your new addition. Biwako is on call at the hospital so she sends her love and regards.”

The man knelt down to be at level with the boy. “Hello Asuma. Thank you for coming. My boy’s going to be so happy to meet you.” He stood back up then stepped aside so they could enter. “Kohari should be finished changing him soon. Please, have a seat in the main room and I’ll prepare some tea.”

The home was much smaller than anything Asuma was used to. The Sarutobi compound was significantly larger and he easily got lost in the vast halls while chasing around his cousins. This home had a only one room for receiving guests, a kitchen, and 3 other doors which he could only assume lead to the bathroom, the master bedroom and the nursery. He didn’t understand how anyone could live so cramped but he had been immediately wrapped with a great warmth and love that only a happy homestead could provide so in that sense size didn’t really matter. Plus, this wasn’t a clan home but only that of the regular townsfolk of Konoha. Not that he cared about things like that anyway.

Asuma set his present down on the sofa before he climbed up onto it. He struggled a bit but refused help from his father, determined to do this himself. Once he got settled he grabbed his gift and sat patiently at attention, waiting for whatever it was that was happening next. Hiruzen sat next to his son and chuckled, ruffling his hair. “Relax my boy. This isn’t an academy exam so there is no need to be so tense.” 

The soft sounds of feet shuffling caught Asuma’s attention and took his focus away from his fidgeting hands. Both he and his father turned their head towards one of the bedrooms just as a woman with straight brown hair emerged. She was dressed in a periwinkle blue yukata and wrapped in her arms was a bundle of dark green cloth. She nuzzled her nose down against the plush cloth (which Asuma found extremely odd) and had a bright smile spreading across her tan features. She repeated the action once more before looking up to greet her guests.

Her smile grew as she gave them both a slight bow before approaching. “Thank you for coming, Sarutobi-sama, Asuma-kun.” Hiruzen waved his hand before getting up from his seat and going over to Kohari.

“So is this little master Iruka?” Asuma watched with curiosity as his father’s grin reminded him of a monkey in one of his fairy tales. The only other time he smiled like that was when he was sneaking sweets to him and his sister before dinner behind their mother’s back. He secretly loved those smiles.  Hiruzen did the same strange nuzzling action Kohari did. To his surprise Asuma heard a tiny squeal. His eyes met the woman’s and she continued to smile. 

“Would you like to meet him?”

Both adults went to Asume. Hiruzen took the gift from his hand. “Just do exactly like your mother instructed. Kohari-san and I will be here to help so don’t be afraid.” The boy nodded his head and carefully Kohari leaned over, placing the swaddled babe into his arms. Once he had a secure hold she moved away some of the green material, revealing a plump caramel colored face with round cheeks. Brown eyes blinked up at him before the infant made a garbled sound. Unsure what that meant or what to so next Asuma imitated both adults and nuzzled his nose against the babe’s soft skin. He produced that same squeal he made for his father.  Ikkaku reemerged from the kitchen, tray with tea pot and cups in hand. He smiled as he joined the others.

“I told you Iruka would be happy to meet you.”

 

~***~

 

“Asma-ani! Asma-ani!” A tornado came charging across the academy playground as fast as his tiny tan colored legs could carry him. The center of his attention, a stoic young lad with dark black hair dressed in black shorts, black mesh, a white shirt and vest with a striped collar, turned towards the noise. He smirked and pointed at the shiny metal forehead protector he adorned. The child sped up and clung to the older boy’s leg. “Did ‘chu pass?”

He gave a sly grin. “Of course I did.” He lightly tugged on the other’s ponytail. “They don’t give these to just anyone.”

Puppy like brown eyes looked up at him and he pouted, jutting out his bottom lip. Asuma laughed, sounding much like his father, and ruffled his hair. “No fair, ani!” he whined before giving him a cheeky grin. “Momma and Pappa said that now that yer a ninga you won’t be able to play wit me as much. But that means you get to go on missions and tell me all about yer awesome battles!”

He nodded his head.  “I won’t go right away but I will get a jounin sensei and start training.” He held out his pinky finger. “But when I do go out on my first mission I’ll bring you back something awesome, promise.” The four year old nodded and wrapped his own pinky with his, sealing the promise. “Now come on, there’s gonna be a big party for my graduation. If we leave now we might be able to sneak some fire cakes from the kitchen before mom can catch us.”

He knelt down onto the ground and clapped his hands. Iruka quickly scrambled to climb up his back as best as he could. He wrapped his arms around Asuma’s neck while the other’s securely held onto his legs. He made a mad dash from the school, both boys whooping and hollering as Asuma ran. He was still a newly minted genin so he wasn’t able to leap across roof tops yet but he was going faster than any speed four year old Iruka ever could and the preschooler was enjoying the rush. He loved it when Asuma would let him ride piggy back and show off his newly learned running techniques, or weave and turn around trees like counters for taijutsu attacks. The wind would tousle their hair wildly, leaving it full of twigs and leaves, dirt would get on their clothes, but they would be grinning for hours. These were honestly some of Iruka’s favorite parts of his life. Sure he loved spending time with his father, learning calligraphy from his mother, or the occasional storytime with Hiruzen or being Biwako’s “special helper” when she would make special visits to his daycare by giving the toddlers stickers and making funny faces in order to have them laugh. Even though Asuma usually didn’t say much he never really had to with Iruka. All he had to do was tilt his head and give a sly grin and Iruka would be over the moon. He didn’t have any siblings of his own so to say he idolized Asuma was an understatement.

That was why now with Asuma graduating the academy Iruka was suddenly feeling extremely sad. He hadn’t meant for any of it to show, after all this was Asuma’s special day. He just couldn’t help but cling onto his vest a little tighter than normal. This didn’t go unnoticed. “Hey Iru, what’s wrong?”

He hadn’t realized he was silently crying until he felt himself sniveling. He rested his forehead against the other’s back. He didn’t want to lie and make the other worry but he also didn’t want to upset him on his special day by being a baby. Babies were the other kids, like Kotetsu and Izumo who get scared easily and wet themselves when he and Anko pretend to be monsters. He wasn’t a baby but he couldn’t stop himself from feeling sad. “Asma-ani… now that yer a big strong ninga, you won’t ferget about me, right?”

The older boy gently squeezed tiny tan calves. “Never.” His voice was surprisingly gruff and firm. It took Iruka by surprised and made him blink a few times. “We’re brothers, now and always.” He didn’t say anything else after that and frankly he didn’t have to. Those words alone were enough. Iruka wiped his eyes 

  
  


~***~

 

“Let me go!” 

An extremely frazzled looking shinobi covered in neon green paint had a vice like grip around the arm of a struggling boy. The child was dragging his heels and yelling loudly, protesting his capture and proclaiming his innocence. His words were falling upon deaf ears. The pair received lots of stares as they made their way down the halls towards the hokage’s office.  “I hope you get expelled.” the shinobi sneered. “You little shit. It’s better to have you kicked out now before you inevitably get fellow ninja killed.”

Those words irked him. He brought the other’s arm up to his mouth and bit down hard. As the other screamed and jerked away he pulled free and bolted. He snickered silently to himself as he heard his teacher yelling. He ducked and weaved pasted other shinobi, making sure not to knock into anyone. He continued to give chase, evading his instructor as well as the others he had managed to convince to aid him. He reached into his pocket and pulled a few strips of paper. They were explosive tags he had bribed Anko with dango for but he had modified them to release paint instead of anything deadly.

He was certain he had outrun his pursuers so he was flabbergasted when someone suddenly appeared in his path. It happened so quickly that he hadn’t been able to stop in time and ended up crashing into him. He scowled and looked up, surprised at the shock of white hair that belonged to the lanky boy in front of him. At least he thought it was a boy and one not much older than him. It was hard to tell because of the weird white and red animal shaped mask he wore. 

The boy reached out a black gloved hard and grabbed his arm. Iruka winced as he felt sharp claws dig into the exposed parts of his skin. “Hey! Lemme go!” He squirmed but that only resulted in more pain from that vice grip. Iruka was stubborn and was determined to get free. He hated being told what to do by people who knew nothing or thought they knew everything but really didn’t. He reached for another paint tag but felt that wrist grabbed as well. It happened too fast for him to comprehend. He started to kick and pull away harder but the end result was with him seeing stars as he felt his face make contact with the dirt ground.

“That’s more than enough, Hound.”

The voice of the sandaime cut through the ringing in his ears. He felt himself pulled up to his feet. He tried to get away but the arms still held him in place. He looked over at his masked capture and sneered. “Yeah, ‘hound’.” He cried out as the grip on his arm dug a little bit too painfully.

“Hound!”

Hearing the commanding tone of the hokage forced the shinobi to release him. Iruka rubbed his arm, checking it for puncture wounds or blood. He sighed with relief that he didn’t find any. The masked person suddenly slouched a bit in his stance. For some reason this irritated Iruka and he couldn’t help but stick his tongue out at him. 

“I bet you aren’t so tough without that mask.” He felt a swat to the back of his head and he frowned. His eyes focused on Hiruzen who was now standing next to him and fiddling with his pipe. “What the hell was that for?”

The elder ninja lit his pipe. He took a slow drag from his pipe, letting the tobacco fill his senses.  He exhaled through his nose. When Iruka was little he was always enraptured by that act because it always made Hiruzen resemble a dragon. He wasn’t an easily amused child anymore so he refused to admit that even now he still looked cool when he did that. The hokage glanced over at the masked warrior. “Leave us.” When the man hesitated he nodded his head to reassure him. Once they were alone again the focus went back to the adolescent. “Iruka…” he began. “I really must admire your creativity. It had been quite some time since the village has been so… colorful. With the right tutelage you could become a seal and trap master. It could be a very promising path for you.” Warning sirens went off in Iruka’s mind. He was expecting to reprimanded, scolded, or beaten just like all his teachers at the academy had done. He knew Hiruzen would never lay a hand on him but he expected something other than praise. 

“However…” He took another inhale of tobacco. “You cannot and will not succeed as a shinobi if you continue such deplorable behavior. Showing such disrespect towards your fellow shinobi goes against the will of fire and I will not allow you to represent Konoha if you continue to act this way- no matter how much you dislike your instructors.”

Those words hit home hard. All Iruka wanted to be ever since he was a child was a ninja. He wanted to be smart and caring like his parents and strong like Asuma. Just thinking about those three made the hurt he hid deep inside, buried deep down, spring to the surface and feel like his chest was about to rip open. It made tears well up in his eyes but he refused to shed them. He was done crying over missing holes in his life.

“Screw this place!” he shouted. The words stung himself more than he would ever care to admit. He was angry and blinded by it. He was a young pre-teen with no parents, no best friend who his surrogate brother, no one to comfort him and help guide him through the dark storm clouds that were threatening to consume him. He knew his words panged the older man as his normally calm and cheerful eyes widened slightly with horror.

“Iruka, you can’t possibly--”

“All Konoha has ever done for me is cause nothing but pain. This stupid place has taken away everyone I have ever cared for! My parents are dead! Dead! Our house is destroyed. All our belonging, every single thing to prove that they were alive is gone! And for what? Two lines on some stupid stone! It’s like they never existed and I have nothing to remember them by! Losing my parents sucks but at least I thought I still had family except you and Asuma both abandoned me too!”

Iruka was seething with anger.  All his bottled up emotions were pouring out of him. For the last few months he had channelled his frustration and pain through his pranks on his teachers, classmates that teased him or the few classmates he was on good terms with, or those genin that tried to bully him. He found fellow partners in crime through Anko, Kotetsu and Izumo but they made it clear that they didn’t want anything tied back to them. They had no problem supplying him the materials he didn’t have like the spell tags or chakra wire.

Hiruzen could feel the other’s chakra building uncontrollably. As a sensor he could feel the changes sooner than others could, sometimes even before a Hyuuga with an active Byakugan. His heart hurt feeling his pain at levels he never thought possible. “Iruka,” He felt his voice beginning to chock up and he didn’t care to hide it. “Your parents will always be remembered in your heart just as they are forever in mine and Asuma’s. We never abandoned you, my boy. What on earth would make you think that?”

“You did too!” That was when Iruka lashed out. He charged at his village leader, fists pounding wildly on his chest. Hiruzen let him. Umino needed to do this, needed to vent out all his pain and he would let him. “You sent Asuma away without warning, without letting him say goodbye! I needed him now more than ever and you sent him away!”

“He’s on a covert mission of high importance. You know that as a shinobi these things sometimes must happen.”

“I don’t care! I need my brother and you took him away! Now I have no one!”

“But Iruka, you have me. You will always have me.”

“Liar! Liar! Liar!” The tears broke through and started to stain his cheeks. His fist pounding became more erratic as he began to cry and let his anger subside as sorrow took its place. “You left me too! You just stuck me in some dormitory with a bunch of strangers. If putting food in the fridge and giving me a roof over my head is your idea of pity then I don’t want it! I’d rather starve than get a handout! You won’t come near me anymore like I’m a disease! I thought you loved me but I guess I was wrong all along!”

Iruka had always been like a son to him and now he realized he should have made that clear verbally. He wrapped his arms around the child. That is exactly what Iruka was- a child. He was a lost boy with no immediate family. He knew he wanted to do more for him but with his duties has the hokage resuming after the noble sacrifice of the fourth and countless nin (including Iruka’s parents) all he could do was provide the boy with housing and have select anbu constantly stock the dwelling with all the necessities until Iruka was old enough to truly provide for himself. He kept trying to tell himself that was enough but he knew deep down it was only half ass at that. 

He rested his chin on top of chocolate brown locks and held him tightly. He could feel the protesting slowly melting away and eventually those fists clung to his clothing instead of fighting. His tiny frame shook with deep powerful sobs as his grief took complete control. He cradled him to his chest and let Iruka continue to cry. He vowed right at that moment that he would take a more active role and make sure he never felt this way again.

  
  


~***~

 

“I received another letter today.”

Iruka sat in a leather chair across from the sandaime in the private parlor adjacent to the hokage’s office. He set the folded piece of paper next to the elder man’s tea cup. His brown eyes scanned the other for any sign of emotion.

“Hmmm.”

Watching the man he know thought of as his second father just sitting there with a blank expression and sipping tea made him want to grind his teeth. “Seriously?!” His voice rose in volume with his annoyance but if he noticed he certainly didn’t care. “He’s your son! Your actual biological flesh and blood! Why won’t you just talk to him? I tried to convince him to stay, you know. Whatever disagreement you two had was enough to drive your own son away. It’s not right.”

The hokage set down his glass. He sat back in his chair and started to add tobacco to his pipe. The act looked like he had ignored everything the newly minted chuunin had said but Hiruzen had heard every word. He did not like the other’s choice of wording but he wasn’t wrong and he wouldn’t deny that. It’s just that things were far more complicated than the other could ever understand at this point. Maybe in the future but not today.

Seeing that he wasn’t going to get a response, Iruka sighed. He picked up his tea and drank, savoring the matcha blend that he adored. Or maybe it was just the way the other brewed it because the tea Hiruzen made was always the best. He looked forward to their regular meetings, if not at least for the tea. “You know he still asks about you. He does love you, even now.”

Sarotubi took a long inhale from his pipe. He held in the smoke for as long as he could, letting the nicotine to invade his senses. He gently exhaled the smoke through his nostrils. His eyes focuses on the letter still lying untouched on the table. “Asuma needs to forge his own path.” He closed his eyes and said nothing more about the subject.

  
  


~***~

 

“Just go talk to her.” Iruka nudged Asuma gently. The two men were at a mixer for the academy instructors of the recently graduated students and their new genin instructors. It was an informal way for everyone to meet and get to know the person behind the hard shell military life creates. Iruka taught one of the younger classes but he was there at the request of his friend. Well, more like moral support. Iruka would say it was because the other was nervous, a claim the other would fiercely deny.

And yet when it came right down to it, Asuma Sarutobi turned into a complete puddle of mush whenever he was in the vicinity of one Kurenai Yuuhi… but you wouldn’t know it just from looking at him. This was something Iruka would both relentlessly tease about but also found endearing. He knew Kurenai from the school and thought she was a lovely woman. Yes she was attractive, he wasn’t blind in that department, but he didn’t have an interest in her like that. He thought her sharp biting wit was refreshing and broke up the monotony of the work day. Listening to prepubescent children during the majority of the day did not provide the most stimulating of conversations. Even if he had any hints of a blossoming attraction towards her he immediately vanquished them the moment he discovered Asuma’s affections. Besides, she was better suited for him anyway and Iruka prefered her companionship in a more platonic fashion.

Asuma had gone through his third cigarette in the span of a few minutes. He was a chain smoker to begin with- a habit his father and many others of the Sarutobi clan also shared. Asuma, however, didn’t smoke regular tobacco but a special blend that he could bond with his fire release to create a special kanton jutsu. Plus it had an insanely high nicotine content. Occasionally Iruka would bum a stick or two off of him because of that. But the simple fact that the older man just dwindled down his third one in less than ten minutes was proof that he was nervous. 

Iruka looked over at him and smirked. He was standing tall but stiff as a board. Part of him wanted to take pity on him but also poke fun. He knew Asuma wasn’t going to go over an initiate himself, not in this situation. So Iruka decided to combine both. He knew in the moment Asuma would be angry with him but in the long run he’d be thanked a million times for it. Iruka’s smirk turned into a devilish grin. Asuma’s stern expression never changed but the tone of his voice did. “Iru, don’t you dare.”

“I dare.” 

He made his way over to a group of women, Kurenai among them. All the while Asuma was nervously looking over at them while trying not to seem like he was obviously doing so. The two shinobi laughed and exchanged a hug before chatting. They would occasionally exchange glances his way, making him even more nervous. It wasn’t long before they were heading towards him. He quickly downed his drink and finished off the rest of his current smoke. When he looked up Iruka had that stupid grin on his face that indicated he had done something he was very proud of.

“Kurenai-san, this is Sarutobi Asuma, my friend I was telling you about.”

“So this is the handsome devil.” Her voice held a silken quality and her smile was bright. He seriously prayed to the heavens his palms were not sweaty as he reached out to take her hand. 

  
  
  


~***~

 

He found his face buried into stiff, heavily starched fabric. The scent of overly clean disinfectant hit his nostrils. He realized he was in the hospital. Which ward he had no clue. His head was swimming as he was trying to figure out where was up or down. He could hear someone’s voice, no voices actually. He couldn’t make out what they were saying and he didn’t bother to even try.

He woke up again sometime later. His nose was still buried in the stiff linens but he was slightly more coherent. He tried to move but it hurt to do so. There was also a firm had on his shoulder.

“Easy, Iru.” Asuma’s nicotine abused gravelly gruff voice was a delight to his ears. That gave him a sense of reality, that made he hadn’t died. Because if he had he would have definitely preferred to be amongst linens made of satin or the finest thread count cotton, and not have Asuma’s hand be what was forcing him to stay flat on his stomach. “The medi-nin did one hell of a job patching you up, but your doctor said you have to stay like this at least for a few more hours. After your next healing session they’ll decide if it’s safe enough for you to roll over.”

Hearing the other speak about his back and medical healing made the gravity of everything hit him. He felt himself start to panic as his mind immediately went to the blonde precocious child he almost died protecting. He started to move but the other kept him in place. “N-Naruto!  Is he… okay?”

The other’s deep chuckle annoyed him but at the same time helped him relax. The only times Asuma ever laughed at him was when he was fretting over nothing. “You gotta stay put.” he bemused. “But turn your head towards the door.” Iruka did as suggest. Curled up in one of the chairs was the young boy, softly snoring away. His hands were clutching Iruka’s hitai-ate. “The kid’s never left your side. Even when the medics and Hiruzen tried to escort him out, he would raise holy hell and claw at everyone who tried. That fierce loyalty kinda reminds me a little of you.” Iruka felt his heart fill a little with pride at those words. The boy was a good kid, just misunderstood. He had slowly started to see him as something more than just a student once he let go of his anger towards the nine tails. They both lost their families that day and that was just something not everyone could relate to.

 

~***~

 

“IRUKA-SENSEI!”

The brunette looked up from the paper he was reading as he watched the hyperactive orange blur come barrelling into the mission room. He gave him a bright smile as the boy stopped right in front of his desk.

“I’m not your instructor anymore. How many times must I remind you to stop addressing me as sensei.”

“But I can’t call you ani while you’re working. Besides, Sakura and that idiot Sasuke still call you sensei and you don’t correct them.” 

“Sasuke’s not an idiot.” Iruka rubbed his temple, trying to already take preventative measures at stopping a headache that was bound to happen whenever Naruto argued semantics. “That’s because they are being formal and polite. You don’t have to do that. We’re family, remember.”

“I was so looking forward to calling you ani, sensei.”

Both looked over at Kakashi’s sudden arrival. Noticeably absent were the other members of Team Seven. Iruka felt his skin start to heat up due to the other’s appearance. The other was insufferable and infuriating, always finding ways to get under his skin to annoy him. But he also made him extremely flustered at the same time. That dichotomy of maddening and intriguing made the other alluring to him. Of course he knew all the rumors about the man: son of the White Fang, genius in his own right, master of over 1000 jutsu, genin at 5 years old, chunin at 6, potential candidate for hokage. 

He also knew how many of the kunoichi and some of the male shinobi population continually gossiped about him with topics ranging from his friendships (or lack thereof), to his supposed handsome looks, to his personal life and sexual preferences. He knew it was wrong but secretly he would eavesdrop on conversations about the latter because he would be lying to say that he wasn’t attracted to him. But it wasn’t entirely in the same vein as the others. Sure he could imagine that the great and fearsome Hatake had hard muscles and a chiseled frame that rivaled portraits of Adonis underneath the standard issue shapeless garb, that his ass was milky and surprisingly pert yet firm. He knew looks weren’t everything. He found Kakashi’s intelligence far more appealing. Sure he infuriated him to no end with his mission room antics but from his experience as a “reformed” prankster he could tell when something was pre-planned, methodical and meant to do more than irritate. That’s why no matter how much Kakashi made him want to punch him (or pound him, depending on the day and his mood), Iruka always allowed the escapades to continue instead of putting a stop to it. It was a reason for him to interact with the normally elusive jounin. Plus, Naruto being his student helped too. 

Before Iruka could react Naruto made a face that was clearly a repulsive scowl. “No way! Iruka-sensei is like my big brother. It’s bad enough you’re my sensei now so I definitely don’t want to be related to you!”

Kakashi’s visible eye closed and even though the majority of his face was hidden behind fabric, Iruka was almost positive the man was smiling. “Mah… maybe I would prefer to be related to Iruka-sensei instead of you. He’s seems like the type that I could get along with quite well.”

There was no hiding his blush after that. He cleared his throat and held out his hand, trying to look rather put out by having the two of them there. “Since you both are here I am assuming one of you has your latest mission report.”

Naruto’s eyes widened and he dug into his pockets. “I told him that I could turn this in on my own but clearly he doesn’t trust me.” He smiled and held up the report, badly crumbled, and waved it in the air. “See, told ya you could trust me!”

“It’s not that I didn’t trust you. Maybe I wanted to hand it to Iruka-sensei myself, did you ever think about that?” Those words made Iruka feel like his face was burning. 

“I did too! I’m saving him the hassle of being nice to you because you always do something stupid. You need to be nicer to Iruka-sensei or else I’ll make you regret it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

  
  


~***~

 

Kakashi had arrived late to the funeral of Hiruzen. He hated funerals. He had been to more than was common place for a shinobi. Finding your father’s lifeless body, watching your best friend die, and being forced to kill your teammate all before the age of 16 can have that effect. Even though he put on airs of a cold hearted bastard who would kill without question, in reality death and the finality of it messed with his psyche. He didn’t have proper coping mechanisms except to just bury it deep down and ignore it. And people dared to wonder why he was so messed up.

Whenever there was a death of someone Kakashi knew and interacted with on more than a superficial level, he lingered longer at the memorial stone than usual. He updated Minato, Kushina, Obito and Rin about what happened to Hiruzen and the village, to the remaining Uchiha and Naruto’s determination to help him. He also expressed his helplessness- at least that’s how he felt. He was berating himself as he recounted every detail for the hundredth time, wishing he could have done more and maybe prevented Hiruzen’s death. He knew there was nothing and they told him that, so that helped ease his guilt.

He hung around towards the back of the crowd that was listening to the service. His eye searched the congregation. He spotted Asuma towards the front, as would be expected. Kurenai was next to him, if not slightly behind him as a sign of support. He could see her pinky finger wrapped lightly around his. He was glad she was there for him. Even though he always seemed so gruff Kakashi knew that his friend was hurting. It was best he received comfort from her more than anyone else because her words would be able to heal him faster. 

He also saw familiar faces and of course many who were now absent. His gaze landed on Umino Iruka. He was cradling a sobbing Konohamaru, softly rubbing his back and he could only assume whispering words of comfort as well. He was utterly fascinated by this, and not just because he found himself seeking out the sight of the chuunin more and more whenever he was in the village. He liked Iruka. The guy was genuinely nice and he wasn’t intimidated by his reputation. That really earned him points in his book. There was something else in addition to that. Whenever he was around the other man, he felt calm; like the darkness was going away or at least more tolerable. He wasn’t sure what it was about the other that was causing that, however.

As he continued to watch the man comfort his student he couldn’t help but wonder who would be there to do the same for him. He knew Iruka had close personal ties to the entire Sarutobi clan. Asuma couldn’t be a strong for him because he needed Kurenai more. And he needed to be the strong one for Konohamaru, so that left a void for Iruka. There was no chance in hell he was going to allow Naruto to try to provide solace. That was not the job for a child.

  
  


~***~

 

Asuma had just barely survived the fight with Hidan. Shikamaru and Chouji struggled to drag his nearly lifeless body to the hospital. Ino had done all that she could to keep him stable enough from travel, which nearly depleted her chakra reserves. When Iruka heard the news he dismissed his class early for the day before finding Kurenai. She and his surrogate brother were practically married at that point so he felt like he should find her. A shinobi had just left her classroom as he appeared in the doorway. They both shared a look before she went over to him, grasping his hand as they went to the hospital.

Iruka took on the role of a nurse maid, or butler- making sure the unconscious jounin was as comfortable as possible in his bed, that Kurenai never had to worry about any needs or wants she may have. He douted on her so she could focus all her attention on her lover. Iruka even ran interference when visitors would come by, trying to make sure Kurenai wasn’t overwhelmed but also ensuring she got her privacy.

He sat in a chair, used to it’s uncomfortability at this point, grading his student’s recent homework assignment. Kurenai was asleep in a cot set up next to the bed. Tsunade had made special arrangements for her, automatically assuming that she would want to be by Asuma’s side. Iruka didn’t pry because she was his hokage and it wasn’t his place but there was a deep sense of longing and understanding in her eyes when she first met up with them to inform them of his condition. Iruka looked up from his papers when he heard the door quietly open. He assumed it was a nurse doing their rounds but he was surprised that it was Kakashi. He stood up and set down the stack but was immediately waved to stop by the other. As he sat back down he was again surprised when the other went to stand beside his seat. 

“I don’t like hospitals..” His voice was muted, trying not to disturb the sleeping occupants. Iruka could have sworn there was a hint of sadness in his voice but he thought that maybe he had imagined that. He was still trying to comprehend the close proximity of the other, something he considered uncharacteristic of the normally elusive jounin. “I wanted to come sooner, should have been actually, it’s just… bad memories here, you know.”

Iruka nodded his head in understanding. “But you’re here now. That’s what’s important.” He gave the man a small warm smile. “I’ll tell Kurenai in the morning that you stopped by. I know she’ll appreciate it, and I’m Asuma will as well… once he wakes up.” His words seemed to put the other at ease. His shoulders relaxed and he leaned back against the wall, still standing near Iruka’s chair. He pulled out his mainstay novel and started to read. Iruka couldn’t help but chuckle softly then resumed grading.

They stayed like that in silence for a while. Every now and then Iruka would glance up at Kakashi, curiosity getting the better of him. The older man’s gaze didn’t seem focused on his book even though he continued to periodically turn pages. Once Iruka finished his papers he stood up and stretched before massaging the stiffness that had settled into the back of his neck.  

“I’m going to head home for the night.” he said as he started to pack his satchel. “You should try to get some sleep tonight, Hatake-san. They would want you to.”

“Kakashi.” Iruka gave him a confused look. “Hatake-san was my father. I would like it if you called me Kakashi.”

“O-okay Kakashi-san.” He could not held but rub at the scar on his nose. It was a nervous habit he had and knew he could stop it- a bad sign for a shinobi to have a tell.

“Just Kakashi.” The jounin quietly closed his book and tucked it into his back weapon’s pouch. Slowly he pushed himself off the wall to stand up straight. “Only those I value dearly get to forgo the honorific.It’s a very short list.” When he heard Iruka starting to sputter he couldn’t suppress a small laugh. “Relax sensei.” He grabbed the teacher’s bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Let me walk you home.” He started out the room while the other was still trying to pick his jaw off the floor.Iruka scrambled after him as quietly as he could. He quickly caught up to Kakashi, walking in step with him. 

“You can drop the sensei and just call me Iruka.”

  
  


~***~

 

“You’re obsessing over it too much.”

Iruka frowned at Asuma as he was handed a beer. The older man was almost fully healed but he was in no hurry to return to the field. Not when the love of his life recently announced her pregnancy. Iruka always knew Asuma had a soft and gentle side but the news that he was going to be a father practically turned him into a human teddy bear. He could not help but beam with pride as he watched two of his favorite people embark on the next chapter of their lives.

“I’m not obsessing.. I need to find a way to thank him.”

Asuma gave a gruff laugh before taking a seat on the couch next to Kurenai. She smiled watching the two.

“Kakashi doesn't need thanks for that. It’s part of the job. Just let this one go, Iru.”

“I know but I can’t. I feel like I need to do… something. The man saved my life from Pein.” He took a sip of his drink before rubbing at his temples. He was still a bit shaken after the most recent assault on the village. He had been trying to help a wounded comrade when one of Pein’s six paths had presented himself. Iruka had been prepared to lay down his life. He knew he wouldn’t last long but he prayed it would be long enough for the other shinobi to escape. What he hadn’t expected was for Kakashi to intervene. He had a look about him like a crazed madman. It was unlike anything he had seen before. The man’s chakra flared with both protection  _ and _ possessiveness. It left Iruka utterly confused and yet that was all he could think about lately. He needed to understand what it all meant.

“Iruka, do you have a crush on him?”

Both men suddenly looked over at Kurenai. She had a smile on her painted lips that most would view as smug but they knew better. It was a smile she gave when she figured out something they hadn’t even considered. She had always been extremely perceptive.

“N-n-n…. What makes you say that?” Iruka didn’t deny it, well more like couldn’t. Ever since Kakashi was assigned as Naruto’s genin instructor the man had always caught his interest. First it was just simply to know who was teaching his former student-turned adoptive little brother. His idiosyncrasies continued to peak his interest. He didn’t have the best social habits but his wit, charm, and intelligence were extremely appealing.

“Oh, I don’t know….” she began coyly. “Maybe the fact you keep staring at him when you think he isn’t looking.” That comment caused Iruka to nearly spit out his drink. Asuma laughed. “Or that you go on and on about his latest ‘antic’ regarding his report. Or maybe how in addition to telling us that he came to visit Asuma, you had to include how he insisted on walking you home. Though I will say that makes me question whether or not the attraction goes both ways. That is very un-Kakashi.”

"You know Iru, I could always talk to Kakashi on your behalf.” Asuma’s words made him go a bit pale. He was almost certain the other had no interest in him- not when he had hordes of admirers to select from. Besides he was too focused on his teaching, shifts in the missions room, and Tsunade on occasion to even think about his personal romantic life and noticeably lack thereof. Even if that did mean he felt lonely very now and then. 

“No Asuma, there’s no need for that.” His voice went up in pitch slightly and he gave a nervous laugh. Rubbing at his nose for good measure cemented his awkwardness about the situation.

“Oh come on Iru. Your meddling worked wonders for me. Let me return the favor.”

  
  


~***~

 

Iruka felt Kakashi’s presence before he saw him. The man was grabbing the bag of groceries from his arms before he even registered what was happening. He was finding it better to not question what was going on and to just go with it. He was also pretty sure he imagined their fingers touched when Kakashi took the bag. He did his best to hide his blush from being too obvious.

“So, what’s on the menu for tonight?” Kakashi’s voice still held that bored quality but his body language seemed to signify that he was comfortable and at ease.

“Don’t tell me I’m feeding you now.” His groan was over exaggerated on purpose in jest.

“Only if you don’t mind. Naruto doesn’t shut up about how ‘great Iruka-sensei’s cooking is’. Since I’m in the neighborhood I thought I would ask.”

Iruka couldn’t help but give him a look that stated he clearly did not believe this meeting was a pure coincidence. “You don’t live in this area, Kakashi.”

The man closed his visible eye and Iruka was almost certain the man was grinning under the mask. For having very little of his face exposed he was surprising expressive. “When wandering along the road of life sometimes it takes you in directions different from your own.” Iruka couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Even outside of the mission room this man could be so infuriating at times.

“Fine, you can join me. You don’t get to complain about what I serve you.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  
  


Dinners between the two became an almost regular thing. Whenever Kakashi was back in the village he was like a puppy wanting a bone. At first he continue to make ridiculous excuses for showing up unannounced. After he about the fifth time Iruka got fed up and just told him that if he wanted a meal to just be honest about it.

“What if a meal isn’t the only reason why I keep stopping by?”

Iruka was in the middle of removing the bones from a fish. He had to set down his knife and remember to breathe. His mind was racing. He knew from the start that this was never purely a coincidence. He sighed heavily. “Did Asuma put you up to this?”

“Asuma?”

Iruka rinsed his hand before turning around. “Can we just cut the crap? Did Asuma say something to you? I told him not to but both he and Kurenai have been determined to meddle in my private life in some weird thank you for getting them together.”

Kakashi was giving him that infuriating grin. Iruka narrowed his eyes. He felt like Kakashi was making fun of him and all he wanted to wipe that smug look off of his face. When Kakashi stepped closer Iruka tensed. “Asuma did say something to me but it wasn’t what you think. Honestly I am surprised he hasn’t said something to you about me.”

The teacher blinked in confusion. He just stared at the man like he was a foreign entity. He was too consumed with trying to process what the other had said that he didn’t notice Kakashi was even closer to him. It was when their feet touched that Iruka was jolted back into reality. “A-Asuma didn’t say anything. Why would he?”

“Shame. I was hoping he had. It would have sped up things.” He leaned forward, purposely invading Iruka’s personal space. The younger man’s face turned a deep flush that spread down his neck. “I couldn’t very well ask Naruto about you. The boy is too loud but also much smarter than he looks. Asuma was a safer choice even though it was still a risk.”

“A risk?” His heart was racing, fluttering loudly against his chest. He tried to step back but he was already pressed against the counter. He was trapped, cornered. He felt like prey and the man in front of him was a predator.

“Yes, a risk. Anytime I have an interest in someone it’s always a gamble. If I ask about a person then people will know that I am interested. And if people know I’m interested in someone then it becomes real and with reality comes all the baggage with it. Not to mention all the questions about who and why. Does that make sense?”

Kakashi was now just a hair’s breath away. Being so close was unsettling but Iruka couldn’t help but be fascinated. He was able to see the outline of his hidden features much more clearly, including a small bump on his chin. “N-nothing you say ever makes sense.”

“Well, I’ll follow your advice and cut the crap then.” He closed the distance between them. Before Iruka knew it thin warm lips were pressed against his own. They were shut tight, almost flattened. If this was supposed to be Kakashi’s idea of a kiss it was absolutely horrible!

Iruka brought up his hands and placed them on the front of the jounin’s flak vest. Gently he pushed him away. He could see a flicker of disappointment in the other’s lone eye, but it only lasted a second. “What the hell was that!?”  He did best to seem angry but in reality he was simply putting on airs while trying to hide his blush.

“Just another joke it would seem.” Kakashi’s voice held a sadness to it, obvious that he was crestfallen and not able to hide it. He readjusted his mask. “I guess I’ll be on my way, sensei. Enjoy your evening.”  He started to take a step back but was prevented. Iruka’s fists grabbed at the fabric of his vest and yanked him forward. The chuunin captured his covered lips in a kiss. His lips parted and he softly let his tongue sweep across the dark fabric. Kakashi couldn’t help but close his eye and press himself against the other, arms wrapping around his waist.  He was forgetting how to breathe as all his brain functioning seemed to short circuit.

He blinked and felt his lips moving, trying to deepen the kiss but they were grasping at fabric. The soft chuckle of the other brought him out of his daze. He opened his eye and blinked a few times before looking at the other. Iruka had a smug expression plastered all over his face. “Now  _ that’s _ a proper kiss. Wouldn’t you agree?”

  
  


~***~

 

“You’re going to do fine. In fact, you’ll do better than that. You’ll be fantastic.”

His words were not helping to ease the pacing man. Hands pulled at silver strands in frustration. “I’m nervous.” he drawled. “Why am I nervous? I never felt like this on the battlefield. That’s where I belong, not behind a desk.”

Iruka went over to the other, his hands grasping the other’s and pulling them down to be at their sides. “It’s ok to feel this way.” His words were gentle and warm, reassuring. “This is a big change for you. Change is scary but it can also be amazing. That’s how we grow as people. You, of all people, can understand that better than anyone. And that’s why you’re perfect for this.”

A pair of grey eyes met honey brown. It was still hard for both men to get used to. “The last time I was this nervous… it was the first time I kissed you.” He looked down as tan fingers laced themselves with his pale ones. He sighed and squeezed them. “What if I screw up?”

The younger man stepped forward, closing the distance between them. He brought their joined hands up and pressed them lightly against his chest. “Kakashi, you will be an amazing hokage. You will so many people to help guide you through even the most difficult decisions.” Iruka then lifted their hands to his lips and kissed the other’s knuckles. “And you have me. You will have all my love, devotion, support, and I will state my opinion if I disagree with yours- both as a shinobi of Konoha and as your partner. I will be with you every step of the way and we will get through this together.”

Kakashi could not help but smile. The other always knew the right things to say to put his mind and heart at ease. He leaned in and captured his lover’s lips in an amorous kiss. He untwined their hands and wrapped his arms around Iruka’s waist, pulling him flush against his body. He tried to deepen the kiss but felt the other’s strong hands gently push him back a bit. “Save that for later.” His dark eyes were gleaming with mischief.  He reached over and grabbed that large read and white hat- the symbol of Konohagakure’s leader- and handed it to him. “Come on, everyone’s waiting been waiting long enough to start the ceremony.” Kakashi placed it on his head while Iruka pulled up his mask. After he felt that the man looked presentable he gave that smile that always gave Kakashi a warm fuzzy feeling. “I’m going to go find Asuma, Kurenai and Mirai. We’ll meet you out there.”

As Iruka turned to leave Kakashi reached out, catching his wrist. Confused, he looked at the other with a bit of concern. “I know I don’t say it enough... I love you.” That smile returned and Kakashi felt like everything would be right with the world.

“I love you too.”


End file.
